Room Service

I remember reading this with my family a long time ago and don’t know what the source is. Google search yields several different purported origins, if you’re curious.

Room Service (RS): Morny. Rune sor-bees.
Guest (G): Sorry. I thought I called room service.
R: Rye, rune sor-bees. Jewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh, yes, I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July den?
G: What?
RS: Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Scrambled, please.
RS: Ow July dee baychem, crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. And San tos?
G: What?
RS: San tos. July San tos?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I have no idea what ‘Judo one toes’ means.
RS: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping wee bother?
G: English muffin!! I get it! You said ‘Toast’. Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
G: No, just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter… just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy…tea…mill?
G: Yes, coffee please, and that’s all.
RS: Copy? One Minnie. Ass ruin Torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy, rye?
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You’re welcome.