Some days, unfortunate things happen to my mental and emotional state:

  • the world overwhelms me and I feel unable to cope
  • my confidence and self-worth drop
  • I imagine ways to cease existing, e.g.
    • being made of glass so that I could throw myself against a rock, shatter, then toss the shards into the sky to become stars
    • being made of water so that I could break the surface tension and be absorbed into the earth
    • being made of pixels so that I could erase myself from the screen
    • losing my identity in some larger entity — light, wind, grass, music…
  • I wish I could reformat my brain the way I can my computer
  • I temporarily forget that there are many things which I enjoy doing and am entitled to enjoy doing without considering them escapism

You get the idea.

On a meta-level I know this will pass because it always does but I wish it never happened in the first place.

[Edit, 5 PM] Feeling better already :).

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