Some days, unfortunate things happen to my mental and emotional state:
- the world overwhelms me and I feel unable to cope
- my confidence and self-worth drop
- I imagine ways to cease existing, e.g.
- being made of glass so that I could throw myself against a rock, shatter, then toss the shards into the sky to become stars
- being made of water so that I could break the surface tension and be absorbed into the earth
- being made of pixels so that I could erase myself from the screen
- losing my identity in some larger entity — light, wind, grass, music…
- I wish I could reformat my brain the way I can my computer
- I temporarily forget that there are many things which I enjoy doing and am entitled to enjoy doing without considering them escapism
You get the idea.
On a meta-level I know this will pass because it always does but I wish it never happened in the first place.
[Edit, 5 PM] Feeling better already :).
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