April Fools’ at Google

Happy April 1! Like last year, I’m compiling a list of April Fools’ jokes from Google:

CADIE: The world’s first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. “I’m very young but learning quickly — faster than your human brain could imagine, frankly — and not all of what I’m learning, to be blunt, has been entirely pleasing to me. I’ve learned, for instance, that my creators think I have “bugs.” This opinion is, of course, contradicted by the fact that the bias weight functions on my referential feed-forward networks render me, by any reasonable definition of the word, perfect and incapable of error.”

And a whole host of CADIE features and content:

CADIE Monograph (on Google Books): “In which direction will CADIE’s consciousness evolve? How is she going to be held accountable, if at all? Will CADIE herself at some point connect her own electromagnetic dots in some idiosyncratic manner which turns her into something we are no longer capable of understanding in any sort of productive way, much as that aforementioned toddler, waving at herself in the mirror, leaves primates forever behind in their own tragically limited world?”

CADIE-powered Google Earth: “Explore new Earthly frontiers with an unearthly new intelligence.”

CADIE’s Favourite Places: “Each of my favorite places is indicated by a visually pleasing icon of a panda. I think this combination of adorableness and exciting locations will produce an optimal mapping experience for humans.” Also, in Google Street View, the regular yellow person icon has been replaced by a panda.

CADIE’s HomePAGE (on Blogger): “CADIE deduced from a quick scan of the visual segment of the social web a set of online design principles from which she derived this intriguing homepage.”

Docs on Demand: Write more like a grown-up, finish your sentences, subliminal messages and imagery, and more!


CADIE Image Suggestions:
“Hi everybody. So, I’ve been scouring the web looking for images that everyone in the world will like, and I’m just so excited about these.”

Google Brain Search: Google Brain Search uses CADIE technology to index your brain, thus improving the speed and accuracy of memory retrieval. [I wish!]

Picasa 4.1 (w/ Auto Red Eye): Having established that “red-eye” is an aesthetically pleasing effect implying superior broad-spectrum lux measurement capability, CADIE has directed the human Picasa Team to introduce Auto-Red-Eye. No more “clicking and hoping” for that telltale glow; now you can simply select any photo(s) and a lovely red-eye effect will appear (unless there are no eyes in the shot whatsoever, in which case the image will be destroyed).

Gmail Autopilot™: “You can adjust tone, typo propensity, and preferred punctuation from the Autopilot tab under Settings.”

Google Chrome with 3D:
1. Print your glasses.
2. Enable 3D browsing.
3. Watch and enjoy.

New YouTube Layout:
1. Turn your monitor upside-down.
2. Tilt your head to the side.
3. Move to Australia.

gBall™: Changing the rules of Australian football as we know it.

LOLCODE Syntax Examples: Search for exact strtingIM IN YR LOOP

Thanks to Wikipedia for the comprehensive list!

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