Break up

Thank you for all of the hugs; you all are very generous to give them without even knowing why. As many of you know, David broke up with me in January and we got back together in March. Just this last week, unexpectedly, David once again expressed some of the same sentiments that had caused him to break up with me in January. Two days later, he broke up with me again. This time it’s permanent; we agreed we could both probably find other people better suited for us than we were for each other. That doesn’t stop me from wishing it hadn’t ended, and it doesn’t stop me from going over in my mind what could have gone different. I guess it’s water under the bridge now.

We had some wonderful times together, and I know I learned and grew and changed – I hope he feels that he did too. Seems we just didn’t have what it takes to make it in the long run. Relationships are complicated, and their endings hurt like very little else I’ve experienced. But I’m trying to take a page out of David’s book and look at it optimistically: with every relationship, I have become more aware of what works and doesn’t for myself and for other people. My mother has always supported having a ‘variety of experiences,’ and though I have rolled my eyes and told her I was quite content to keep dating the same person indefinitely thank-you-very-much I have to admit she has a point. Even though I may feel heartbroken or hurt or even angry about ended relationships, if I end up in one again I’ll be just that much wiser about what exactly I want from relationships and how to make them mutually happy, supportive, and beneficial.

I didn’t intend to write so much. I feel awfully pragmatic reading it over, and the Romantic in me scorns all this rational nonsense. But there it is.

Comments 5

  1. zaldreon wrote:

    I think you’re very wise to see it this way.

    I’ve always found SGS to be a kind and supportive group of people. We’re all here for one-another. Hopefully, that will make things easier.

    Posted 28 Aug 2005 at 08:44
  2. semer wrote:

    Hey, Rowyn. Left you a message on your cell, but to reiterate here, if you want to get together or something feel free to call me. I left my home number in the message, or call my cell, or leave me a message on AIM, whatever you like.

    Posted 28 Aug 2005 at 11:37
  3. prismakaos wrote:

    *hugs again* you know my cell and i posted my home number at some point. i’m sorry you had to go through the heartbreak again…

    Posted 29 Aug 2005 at 04:54
  4. aliceae wrote:

    Rowyn, I miss you. Why do we never talk. I’m so sorry about the sadness. I suggest lots of Guster and lots of food. And remember that there is one girl in Lafayette (well and sometimes Irvine) who thinks you are wonderful all the time. *Really massively big hug*

    Posted 30 Aug 2005 at 18:05
  5. wyterabbit wrote:

    I miss you too! I keep thinking how much I miss singing to musicals in your car. Music can make everything seem better, you’re so right…

    Posted 31 Aug 2005 at 11:37

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *