Thursday April 15, 2004

I don’t know where I am going to live next year, or who I am going to draw with.  I’m not terribly concerned about where I live, but I am concerned about who I draw with.  My friends with whom I was going to draw have to do it by tomorrow because of a disability restriction, so if I want to draw with them I have to decide now.  But if I draw with them I wouldn’t have anyone to room with, and this is definitely a problem.  All I really want is someone friendly who is not a slob and fairly quiet.  I guess I could live at Nana’s, but I really don’t want to.  I feel a bit abandoned, as it stands.  There aren’t really any girls in SGS with whom I can draw, and my friends at Branner have their own agenda – they are not at all unwelcoming, but I feel like they wouldn’t really care if I didn’t draw with them. 

I don’t want to think about the work I should be doing so I think I’ll go read Pride and Prejudice.  There’s nothing like a good book to engage the mind outside oneself.  Plus, I really do have to read it for IHUM, so it is not the least workful thing I could be doing.  I wish I didn’t just feel like sleeping to escape.

[Edit: 11:57 PM]
So I recently got an e-mail from David, who I dated before Paul, after not having talked to him for well over a year.  I’m glad to be back in touch, since I have always felt bad about ending our relationship, but it brings back memories I haven’t touched in a while.  It was very touching, though, for him to say in his most recent e-mail: “I still have not found anyone with whom I have as much in common, can connect with as well, or feel as comfortable being with.” I’ve been so lucky to have people who care about me in my life…it makes me sad that in trying to do what I think is best I sometimes can’t help hurting people.  On a slightly different note, hearing from David has made me reflect on all the people with whom I’ve lost touch…Brian, Katie, Nora, Jessica, Sam, Andy, Josh, Phoebe, David, Nick… I think Nora is one of my biggest regrets, since we had so much in common, and I always seem to be a bit short on really close girl friends.  There’s definitely still hope for Nick, and technically for Josh and Phoebe as well, but it is hard.  I don’t want to intrude on anyone’s lives, or force friendship where it is no longer natural.  Anyway, just thinking.

Comments 4

  1. spamchang wrote:

    =(  i know what you mean…that’s why i’ve been drawing alone for two years.  but in the end it’s ok…God takes care of his kids y’know.  and if you want to rustle up a conversation, drop me a line =P

    Posted 16 Apr 2004 at 00:20
  2. dalazhreia wrote:

    well, good luck with that drawing thing…

    Posted 16 Apr 2004 at 03:45
  3. troglodyteking wrote:

    I cannot think of anything particularly to alleviate the draw situation, but two thoughts did come to mind:

    1) If you enjoy Branner, you might like Toyon – likely to be a lively atmosphere and probably plenty of people in a similar situation to you, just trying to find someone compatible to room with.

    1) You could try to get a single in Roble.  I do not know how well you might be able to do that, but Roble has a lot of singles.  Being a sophomore for the in-house draw, though, you might not have that much of a chance.

    Posted 16 Apr 2004 at 19:33
  4. SoloMio wrote:

    If your friend Nora is just that, a friend, then she will be delighted to hear from you. No expectations, no “I’m writing so that we can pick up right where we left off, as if nothing has happened in the interim”, but rather “You’ve always meant a lot to me, I think of you always and hope you are well…write if the spirit moves you.” I have ALWAYS been overjoyed to hear from someone I thought long lost to me…except of course that one fella, but that’s another story…go ahead, reconnect…

    Posted 24 Apr 2004 at 13:14

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