Saturday April 10, 2004

Why does my world sometimes feel like it is falling apart at the seams?

[Edit 9:21 PM]
I am so confused right now. I don’t know what I want, or what I should be doing. I didn’t get any work done today, and I now just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. I want my friends to be happy, and I don’t want to be unhappy, but it seems like the price of happiness is always someone’s sadness somewhere along the way. Here I live in a land of free choice, and choice is hard. But I guess it is probably better to have a choice than none at all, however hard the choice may be. When I think about it I don’t know who to talk to, and maybe that means I just shouldn’t talk about it. Probably. I mean, if I don’t keep re-immersing myself things will probably even out and go back to normal, whatever that means. Sometimes I get pulled under unwillingly, and other times I dive in, forgetting how hard it is to see under water and how cold. Part of me says “Why me? I shouldn’t have to deal with this sort of thing” and another part says that I should take what comes and learn what I can and that whatever perceived hardship I suffer is nothing compared to some of the suffering that goes on in this world. So anyway, that’s enough of a vague and reflectively meandering entry.  And one last thing: why is my writing so poor in these entries?  Ouch.

[Edit 1:01 AM]
I officially did not get one single piece of work done today. For shame.

Comments 1

  1. spamchang wrote:

    mm.  sometimes life does fall apart.  mine does anyway =P

    Posted 10 Apr 2004 at 14:24

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