Tuesday March 2, 2004

I really should be going to bed but I know that if I go to sleep now I won’t remember in the morning what I intended to write about.

It amazes me what happens when I stop and look around.  I guess I must not do it very often, because I seem to be missing so much that is good and beautiful.  I’m so caught up completing tasks or errands or assignments that I often forget that there is more to life.  It sounds cliched and cheesy but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.  Here I am at a centre of knowledge, with access to the kind of education some people can only dream of.  And Stanford is such a beautiful place.  Even just the afternoon sunlight hitting Branner as I arrive back from class gives me a moment or two of contentment before I get to work or internet distraction.

But more important than the classes or the atmosphere are the good people by whom I am surrounded.  Whether I like it or not, I can be very needy, yet somehow my friends seem to know how to fill my needs, even when I myself don’t always know what they are.  It is humbling to realise how much I have to be grateful for in my friends…they listen to me whether I make sense or not, they point out when I’m being unreasonable, they help me when I don’t understand something, they give me more positive affirmation than I ever deserve….

I do not know as my friends seem to know how to comfort someone when they are in need of comforting, but I hope that sometimes I find the right words.  Thank you to everyone who bears with me through my ups and downs, my irrationality, and my self-absorption.  Hopefully one day I’ll be at greater peace with myself, so I can better reach outside myself to the greater world.

I’ve said it many times before, and I can only keep hoping it will sink in:    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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