Day’s End

Sometimes days don’t turn out quite as horribly as they could have. Which isn’t at all to say that they go well. I will politely refrain from disputable claims that I am stupid or worthless, although today I can’t suppress the feeling that I do not belong at Stanford. And it isn’t about the grades, or my particular success in any subject. It is the way I think. Or perhaps, the way I don’t think. Maybe it is just the combination of hormones and an IHUM paper – either one by itself would be enough to send my mood in the negative direction. I just don’t seem to know how to think. I process things so passively – which isn’t to say without interest. My opinions seem so nebulous. Maybe I just don’t know how to read myself. Maybe I really just don’t form worthwhile opinions. I can’t defend myself or a position, and I have no desire to. Whatever the trouble is, it is certainly (redundantly?) troubling.

Comments 1

  1. Scott wrote:

    While i know nothing of IHUM, i would just like to state that i myself am always losing arguments. At length.

    It’s just… so… they’re arguments. Even when they’re about things that i care passionatly about, it’s like… The conflict isn’t worth it. I’d rather just concede…

    Or something. I very much related to the last bit of your post, but i’m not in a very articulate mood, by the looks of it.

    Posted 05 Feb 2004 at 12:22

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