Tuesday January 13, 2004

It is somewhat amusing in a sad way to look back through my weblog/journal entries and find one that says pretty much exactly what I’m thinking/feeling at the present.  Somehow I’m always a little bit surprised that I could have felt so unhappy or whatever in just the same way before, and perhaps even multiple times.  Duh, I know.  Still, when I find myself floundering around in self-doubt and deprecation, it is disturbing to look back and find out how often I feel this way.  Part of me is like gees, snap out of it.  Another part is like gosh, I must be pretty hopeless if I haven’t been able to escape the faults and flaws that plague me after all this time.  I tend to have these fabulously pointless arguments with people about my self-esteem or whatever, which always leave me annoyed with myself for even *having* such discussions and wondering if I’m missing something or they’re missing something.  I don’t necessarily disagree with some of the positive things people say about me, and perhaps I should focus on things to like about myself.  I guess I feel like everything comes with a ‘but’…a reason that it doesn’t mean anything.  Umm not making sense.  Oh well.

Comments 2

  1. Prismakaos wrote:

    transfer…transfer…it’s the only escape. 

    or switch majors and do something fuzzy.

    Posted 13 Jan 2004 at 15:28
  2. wytehare wrote:

    Do cognitive sciences count?

    Posted 13 Jan 2004 at 20:08

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